Not Your Average Birthday
by fooboo24
Summary: This was definitely not the birthday Riza Hawkeye had been expecting when she woke up that morning. Riza Hawkeye/Roy Mustang. Royai.


**Disclaimer: **I do not own FMA: B.

~P~

_Not Your Average Birthday_

~P~

When Black Hayate's tongue swept across the pads of Riza Hawkeye's feet, prompting her to sluggishly pull her body out of bed so that she could start a new day, she didn't pay any mind to the date that her calendar displayed. She knew perfectly well what day it was as she went about her regular morning activities, and while she knew certain people – actually, most of the population – might get excited if it was their own, or in the least bit offer the world a smile, Riza found no reason to get caught in the whirlwind of it all. There wasn't a thing to get enthusiastic about, in her mind – she was just another year older now, twenty nine, so what? Nothing was going to change other than a mere number, so she didn't understand why she should celebrate something so mundane.

She wasn't going to strive to change her day in any way - hell, if things just went smoothly for Riza, that was a good birthday. She didn't want gifts, warm reminders of her day of birth, or some kind of cake – she just wanted things to be they always were. Maybe if she had time after work, she might allow herself to head to the shooting range for some well-deserved relaxation, but she doubted that the Colonel and his mountains of paperwork would allow her that.

When she arrived at Central Command that morning, she was content that she wasn't greeted with the off-key chorus of "Happy Birthday, Hawkeye!" from the men of her unit – besides, they didn't know it was her birthday anyway. For years the four men had wondered, but she'd never divulged the simple answer for precisely the fact she didn't feel they needed to know. They had other things to focus on, as did she.

And besides, instead of receiving some pointless reminder, she'd rather they just concentrate diligently on their work for once – it would be their unknown gift to her – and to her surprise when she walked into the office, they were. Even Breda and Havoc had their noses into their paperwork, pens scribbling away methodically. They all flashed her their customary smiles and grins before diving back into their documents. Riza's eyebrow quirked as she took her place beside Jean, but she felt the corner of her lips tug up in a smile when she saw the small pile of completed work sitting beside the other blonde-haired Lieutenant.

Placing her things down, her eyes looked up and fell on the one person in all of Central who knew what day it was – and who, coincidentally, was the only one not laying a finger on his work, instead chatting away animatedly on his phone about things she knew for a fact didn't relate to the military. Her slight smile from before disappeared from her face then, and with a roll of her eyes, she got to work on her own overdue documents, trying to drown out the Colonel's loud voice.

Riza couldn't help but get annoyed at Roy – he was the only one aware that it was her birthday, and while she could normally put up with his stunts of never doing his assigned work, she wasn't particularly up for it that day. She didn't want a 'happy birthday!' out of him – just some simple compliance.

She had falsely put hope in the fact that he might grant her a bit of relief from constantly babysitting him just because of the occasion, that he might actually do what he needed to for once so that her life could be just that much easier for a day – but no such luck, for hours later he was still gabbing away on the line. While the others in the room had successfully tuned him out, Hawkeye could not ignore his persistent yammering for once, and by the end of the work day it seemed as though she had nearly bitten a hole in her cheek.

So much for Roy not being, well, Roy for a day. _Her_ day, no less.

"What less can I expect?" Riza muttered under her breath as she checked the clock on the wall and filed away her last bit of paperwork for the day. Roy slammed down the phone from behind her before swivelling his chair to face the window, seemingly done with talking to whomever he had been all day but still ignoring his overdue files. Rolling her eyes at him, she eyed the clock again and began to assess her plans regarding the rest of the day – her shift would be ending in fifteen minutes, but she'd probably have to stay late so she could do the Flame Alchemist's paperwork for him. While this unimpressed her at first, her mind began to drift into things that could follow from staying afterhours – staying later meant that if she did end up making her way to the shooting range, it would more than likely be deserted. The idea set itself in her mind and its appeal began to grow – having a peaceful shooting range all to herself sounded splendid to the First Lieutenant. Riza's lip quirked minutely at the new, mood-lifting event, but before she could return to her station to organize it, she heard the Colonel's deep voice address her.

"You may go, Lieutenant."

Riza blinked – _what? _Had she heard him correctly? Straightening out, she blinked at him, puzzled. "What was that, sir?" she tried not to sound too dumbfounded by what he told her – since when did Roy Mustang leave Riza a night without extra paperwork, let alone go early!? And in the case – who was going to do his paperwork, for he certainly wasn't!

"You heard me," he spun around from facing the window and nodded at her. "You're dismissed. Go and enjoy the rest of your birthday." Hawkeye continued to stare suspiciously at him, trying to decipher the truth behind his words through his dark eyes, but the bottomless pupils gave nothing away for once. It took a few moments for what he had repeated to register in her mind, but when he cleared his throat, Riza snapped out of her surprise and slowly began to collect her things.

"O-of course. Thank you, sir."

Despite her minimal response back, Riza's mind was stirring. There he had gone again, mixing up her schedule and plans! She knew it was hardly his fault – that his decision to let her go early had involuntarily affected what she had settled upon just moments before – but she couldn't help but feel her mood drop again. So much for going to an empty shooting range...

Upon double-checking she had all her things, Riza sighed heavily and made her way towards the single door of the office. As she was about to exit, she saluted her superior officer accordingly.

Roy's face softened as he watched her, before calling, "Happy birthday, Hawkeye."

Riza stopped, halfway in the hallway and halfway still in the office, once again surprised by her Colonel's words, but this time, it was pleasant and made her chest swell, forgetting her disappointment from only moments beforehand. Nodding slightly in response, she shut the door behind her and left Roy by himself in the orange-tinted office, plotting and smiling all the while.

~P~

To say Riza had had her fair share of being surprised on what was supposed to be a completely average day was an understatement, when at exactly eight o'clock, she heard a sound knock at her door, causing her to stop and blink at the wooden slab. She blinked once, twice, thrice – who wanted to see her?

She knew she should have suspected him when she opened the door cautiously to a pair of expressive, dark eyes and a trademark smirk that was known throughout Amestris as belonging to Roy Mustang. As she eased the door open further, she noticed that he had several bags hanging off his arms, and his intentions became clear before he even spoke. Black Hayate yapped at the familiar man happily, pawing at his trousers.

"Colonel?" she started, voice piqued in interest. She blinked her amber eyes and Roy's grin grew. "What are you doing here?"

"Hoping to help my favourite Lieutenant celebrate her special day," he told her, shrugging the collection of bags on his arm for effect. She stared down at them again, her brows furrowed in confusion, and then up at him as if trying to decide if she should let him in or not – even though both knew the answer. When he cocked his head to the side and gave her a crooked smile, she finally relented, sighing and pulling back so that he could end her dusty, disused apartment.

Roy quickly made himself at home – this wasn't the first time the man had been to his adjutant's living space, after all – and plopped down the bags and their contents on her small table. Riza continued to peer curiously at them until the Colonel noticed her staring, before grinning and digging into one, revealing a bottle of liquor.

Immediately, Riza frowned. "Sir, _why _do you have alcohol with you?"

Roy winked at her, causing a blush to grow on her ears, before waving his hand. "No need to sound so accusing – it's just wine, after all. Nice and mild. And I thought it could help you wind down. You're always so wired – and at the very least, one should relax on their birthday of all days, don't you think?" At this, he proceeded to continue going through the bags, searching for something in particular.

Riza stepped over to him and crossed her arms, just barely keeping herself from commenting on the fact that _he _was the reason she was normally so wired. Instead, she asked a question that had been nagging at her ever since she had left the office – "Colonel, what about your paperwork? Have you progressed at all?"

Roy simply smiled at her. "It's all done."

Hawkeye's eyes widened. "Done? _How_?"

"Do you doubt my ability to finish doing my own files and documents that much, Lieutenant?" Roy pretended to feign being hurt, but instead chuckled when she gave him a deadpan expression. "I've been working on them extensively for the past week so they wouldn't pile up. So have the guys... I didn't want anything getting in the way of tonight." His tone became softer as he spoke, before removing his hand from the largest bag and moving it to a smaller one, still seemingly in search of something.

Riza's curiosity quickly got the better of her and before she knew it, questions were tumbling out of her mouth. "When did you manage the time for _that_? And is that why all four of them were actually doing their work this morning? Sir, I don't know how that's possible – I haven't seen you touch a pen once in the last six months, it seems."

Roy's eyes flashed knowingly, cheekily at her instead of giving her an answer, before he turned towards the bag and grumbled, clearly unable to find what he was looking for. Fishing about for a few more moments, his expression brightened before he pulled out a small wrapped box, and it immediately became clear to Riza what – _who_ – it was meant for.

"Roy, you didn't—" she brought her hands to her mouth and shook her head at him. "You know I don't like gifts."

"I know," he told her softly, "but before you go and reject it – just wait and see what it is, okay?" He waited for her response, gaze strong and steady as his eyes bored into her. Riza blinked at him, feeling her stomach flutter girlishly at the intensity of his stare, before ducking away and nodding. Accepting her answer, Roy continued to remove the rest of the bags' contents, which consisted of what was clearly pre-made food. When Riza cocked an eyebrow at him, he elaborated with a wave of his arm. "You haven't eaten yet, have you?" He didn't wait for an answer this time – though she had not. "Because I thought dinner would be nice."

The smell from the boxes wafted over to Riza, and her nose immediately recognized the scent of the delicious food. She was brought back to a simpler time – when she and the Colonel still had personal time outside of their work – when the pair would eat at a certain restaurant with delectable dishes and a divine staff. It had been one of Riza's favourite places to eat, but as the years had passed, so had their tradition of eating there. Eyes bright, Riza questioned, "Is that from-?"

"Celio's? Yes," Roy pulled a hand through his hair, turning his face to the ground so as to hide the heat crawling up his neck and into his cheeks. "I remembered how much you used to enjoy it – and I wanted to have dinner with you tonight without the possibility of setting your apartment on fire." He laughed a bit at his own joke, before making his way to her cupboards to retrieve plates. Pulling one down, he smiled at her and motioned at the table. "Shall we dine?"

Riza felt a genuine smile cross her face – and for once, she didn't try to prevent it – before taking a plate from him and placing it on her table. She felt slightly dizzy out of newfound happiness as Roy spoke to her and she set things up – this day had definitely taken a turn, and while she had been wary at first, it was obvious that is was for the better. Her birthday was no longer routine as she had planned, but being spent with someone she cared about – she had to admit, she was okay with such diversions.

When they were sat at her table, food distributed and Roy pouring her a glass of wine, she reached over the table and squeezed his hand. "Thank you, Roy." Her heart was thudding in her chest, and though she wanted to further express her gratitude to the man, she kept her words to a minimum, not wanting to disturb the peaceful atmosphere her superior officer had created. Even Hayate was calmly lying in his bed across the room, on the brink of sleep and consciousness.

The Colonel nodded at her and gave her that same charming smile he always did, before setting the bottle back down folding his hand over hers. "Any time."

Riza tried to ignore the way her palm grew clammy as he looked deeply at her – it had been years – with those eyes that she felt could consume her if she ever allowed herself to slip. The Lieutenant's mind began to transcend to a place she had long since blocked out – because _no_, she wasn't allowed to think of her commanding officer in such a way. Not anymore, not anymore. Biting her lip and looking away, uncomfortable with where her train of thought was headed, Riza snatched her hand back suddenly. Offering him an apologetic smile, she reached for her glass of wine and took a sip. "Where did you find the time to set any of this up, hm, Mustang?" she asked him a few moments later, swirling the red liquid around, her eyebrow quirking amusedly.

Roy leaned back and rested his elbow against the chair. "What do you think I was doing on the phone today? Let's just say the head chef of Celio's wasn't very impressed that I requested his food be made and then picked up – he believes in eating it as fresh as possible, and so he took a little convincing."

Riza couldn't help the laugh the bubbled up in her throat, and that was all it took for the pair to fall back into a pattern they had long since abandoned to duty, one where the basked in good food and good company. It was as casual as the pair had been with each other in years, and despite Hawkeye's usual need for formality, even she relaxed and allowed his name to slip from her lips once or twice more.

It was only when their dinner was finished and there was one thing left for Roy to do that Riza's birthday began to spiral in a different direction. Retrieving the gift and presenting it to her, he gave her an encouraging nod when she stared at the box in her palm uncertainly.

The last time Riza could recall getting a birthday present was when she was a child – the year before her mother had died, in fact. She was never saddened by the fact that she didn't receive one each year because she felt as though she didn't need one, that just because it was her birthday it wasn't justified to give her a gift. But at the same time, she could not deny the fluttering in her chest as she stared at the one Roy had given her. The Flame Alchemist impatiently waited across from her, barely avoiding bumping knees with her so that she would carry on and unwrap it.

When Riza finally did bring herself to peel back the wrapping paper and lift the top of the small box, she had to suppress a gasp. Blinking down at the set of earrings before her, she was about to open her mouth when Roy abruptly said, pulling a hand through his shaggy hair, "I-I know you don't like it when people buy you jewellery. But before you start berating me on that – I want you to know that I made those for you. So you don't have to tell me how impersonal they are..."

Riza swallowed and nodded at him, trying to imagine the great Flame Alchemist drawing out a transmutation circle and crafting a pair of rose gold earrings – not exactly his forte, but they were still gorgeous, reflective and shimmering in the dull light of her kitchen. And they were her favourite metal, she noted. In that moment, she could only think faintly of a time years beforehand when she passively mentioned what her metal of choice was to him, and somehow, he had remembered to that day. "T-thank you," she managed out after a few more seconds of admiring them. Roy watched her and took in her expression with a growing smile – he knew that she loved them, even if her enthusiasm was lacking in her words. He had known her long enough to know that it was difficult for her to express any emotion in volumes, so when she gave even the slightest proof that she felt a certain way; he knew that she was feeling it tenfold internally.

Roy stood then and walked the short distance over to her. "Here." He held out a hand to her, "Let me." Riza allowed him to pull her up wordlessly, before removing the two earrings from their place in the box. Blood was rushing in her ears as he fingers brushed by her pulse and collarbone, removing her old earrings – another pair Roy had given her years beforehand – and replacing them with the newer pair, the milky pink of the rose gold suiting her every feature well. "There," Roy secured the second one, his fingers releasing the skin of her ear and falling to his sides. Leaning forward, he smiled and touched the glittering pieces before looking Riza directly in her amber eyes. "Beautiful."

Riza felt her face grow hot, her flush only intensifying when Roy didn't move his face back from hers. His breath was hot on her neck and his eyes penetrated hers, flickering with a heat she had not seen since they were teenagers, and before she knew it, he was holding her hips and his lips were pressed firmly to the sensitive flesh just under her ear. Emotions she had long since sealed away – from the last time they had been together, the last time he had held her like this and they had promised that nothing more could happen – rose up within her, seizing her heart and making her straighten in his arms. Riza tried to resist the urge to sigh as he kissed lower, latching onto her throat and sucking. When a moan unconsciously slipped past her lips, Roy pulled away and looked up at her, earning him a whine of protest. He leaned his forehead against hers, eyes half-lidded and lips brushing hers, prepared to speak words that neither of them were allowed to utter. Just as he was about open his mouth, Riza pushed hers against his and a warmth spread between the two at the reciprocation. She couldn't hear him say those words – but this was as good as any distraction, Riza decided as Roy's fingers tilted her chin rightwards. The usually-composed Lieutenant's mind was running askew and her heart was pounding uncontrollably against her ribcage along with lungs that felt as though they were ready to burst. Riza relished in the way he held her and how their bodies felt pressed together – it had been too long, far, far too long for her liking. But even so, when she felt the tips of his fingers dance across the skin of her abdomen, she couldn't help but freeze up, reminded of how such actions were so dangerous to both of their careers and how difficult it had been for them to refuse each other the lasr time. And in that moment, she was suddenly reliving all the heartache telling him 'no' the first time had caused her and how as much as she was in love with Roy Mustang, she couldn't, wouldn't throw away the emotional wall she had built between them just for the sake of spending one more night together. She wouldn't be able to handle it, and so Riza placed her hands firmly on his chest and pushed away, hoping, wishing that her resolve would not break.

"Roy," she managed to pull her mouth away long enough to say. He didn't stop to listen, instead capturing her escaped lips again, this kiss deeper than any other the pair had shared. Riza could feel her common sense drifting as he tightened his grip around her, but when a hand of his lifted and held her breast, she jerked away and frantically repeated his name. "R-Roy!" At this, the Flame Alchemist stopped and blinked at her, confused.

"What is it?" he asked her breathlessly, offering her a small smile. Riza shook her head at him before prying his hands off of her and turning away to face her wall. Roy watched as she put distance between them, an intense pang being felt in his heart as she did so.

"We can't do this again, Roy," she whispered harshly after a few long moments passed. Those words alone were enough to knock the wind straight out of the Flame Alchemist. Digging her nails into her arms out of frustration at herself, she continued, "It's not fair to either of us. I can't go through what happened between us _all over again_." Riza could feel her throat constricting painfully in that moment, resisting the need to cry in front of her superior officer. She refused to appear as weak in front of the man she would be protecting for the rest of her life.

Roy was easily brought back to the night that they had confessed – but also denied ever acting upon what they felt ever again. When they were younger, stupid, foolish teenagers, they could get away with it – but nevermore. He could hardly recall a more paradoxically miserable and elating moment in his life. But to hear the shaking in her voice reminded him of how many times he had inadvertently hurt her – how upset and confused his careless actions could make her, like right in that moment. He had known how hard it had been for them to distance and put up emotional boundaries – he had gone through the same trying task – and for him to come by and just rip them down so casually? It was selfish of him and he had betrayed her trust once again; she had trusted him to keep his side of the bargain, to never touch her like he just had again, and yet he had pushed his luck and now where were they? Back to a place they never wanted to revisit, hurting and regretting. It seemed like it was cycle for the pair at this point.

Roy opened his mouth to speak, but not knowing what to say, closed it again. Should he apologize? He felt as though his word was too flimsy, though, that it wouldn't mean enough to her anymore, not after he betrayed it so easily. And besides, he couldn't even promise himself such a commitment anymore – for why should he hide how he felt about her? He was in love with her and didn't want such a fact to go unknown! Roy bit his tongue until it felt like it would fall off – there he went again, thinking vainly, instead of the woman he loved. Clenching his fists and remaining quiet, the Flame Alchemist stood there, not daring to reach out and touch the fragile woman in front of him, for he had no right. But he knew he could not leave her – so ultimately he was left to wait.

Riza was angry, Riza was upset, Riza was confused. This was not – by any means – the simple birthday she had envisioned for herself. No, instead she was dealing with emotional trauma that she had long since hidden away, only to be dug up once again through one simple action, one simple connection of lips. His presence behind her was disconcerting, but she couldn't find it in herself to tell him to leave her.

Hours or minutes – neither of them knew which unit of time – passed before Roy inhaled sharply and taking his chances, strode over to her and wrapped his arms around her. He would not let her hurt alone – this was his doing and he was going to suffer alongside her, his heart was going to bleed, too.

His insides flopped uncomfortably when she went rigid in gentle grip, something she had once eagerly curled into, before relaxing as he felt her slowly ease against his chest. Slowly, uncertainly, he pressed his face into her hair and held her, undemanding. "I'm sorry," he whispered futilely in her ear, resisting kissing the shell of it. "I'm sorry it's me that always ends up hurting you so badly, Riza. The man who wants nothing more than to lo—be with you is the one that coincidentally brings you the most pain." He knew he didn't deserve her and he honestly didn't know why she put up with him, but he wasn't arguing with the fact that she had always and would always be there for him.

Riza laughed bitterly then. "I'm equally at fault here. I let you kiss me, I let this escalate – w-we both did it, Colonel." She reluctantly sighed further into him – even though he was one half of the source of the problem they were currently facing, she still couldn't help but derive comfort from his warm embrace, couldn't help but find joy in how closely he would hold her. Riza was always seemingly conflicted about him, but Roy's softer side was one she could never deny.

Stiffening at her use of his formal title, Roy found him wanting nothing more than for his name to be spoken softly, affectionately from her lips to his. Knowing that such wishes were far gone and that he was the last person to be ordering her about in such a moment, he buried his face further in the crook of her neck before feeling his feet shift almost involuntarily, pulling Riza along with him, deeper into the apartment. Instinctively, they arrived at the door he knew was her bedroom, and much to his surprise, she was the one who reached out and opened the door, leading them into the dark, silent place.

Wordlessly Roy took her back into his arms and the pair found their way to the bed, laying in the same position – clutching each other – as they had when they had first gone through the same night years beforehand. Back then, they had promised each other one last night before officially severing their deeper emotions for one another. They had stolen kisses and affectionate touches, but this time, they just held steadfastly, desperately to each other, unmoving for fear their hearts would shatter along with their sanity if they budged just an inch.

When the Flame Alchemist felt Riza relax in his arms, escaping from their dilemma into that of well-deserved sleep, he peppered short, soft kisses along her forehead before resting his chin on in it. Feeling his own eyelids grow heavy with emotional exhaustion as he watched her chest rise and fall methodically, Roy slowly descended into unconsciousness, a deep frown etched on his features as he whispered, "Happy birthday, Hawkeye."

~P~

**Author's Notes:** Crappy, derailing, angsty mess that I wasn't willing to abandon. That's what this is. XD


End file.
